Shallow Depths

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon is a new post-apocalyptic RPG for Wii.  The impression I've gathered is that it's very different, is hauntingly beautiful, and that the story is very engaging.  That is enough to make me prick up my ears, though there is also part of me wondering why I keep torturing myself with JRPGs recently.

I don't normally pay a lot of attention to game reviews.  They rarely match up well with my tastes, and the ones claiming to be objective in particular make me laugh.  Reviews are always subjective and individual.  I prefer it when writers make use of their personal perspective rather than trying to hide it behind rigid journalistic style, and that's rarer than I'd like.

But in this case I've found the reviews oddly fascinating.  Some reviewers seem amazingly conflicted, e.g., this review at Destructoid.  It comes across as a wonderful concept dragged down by some absolutely hideous gameplay decisions.  It reminds me how possible it is to both love and hate a game at the some time.

The potential trade-off between story and gameplay is a common enough issue for gaming.  I think it is definitely possible to do both well, but sadly it often doesn't turn out that way.  I tend to seek out different experiences, and this seems like something I'll have to play for myself.  I am well forewarned, though, and expect to find it just as beautiful as the reviewers... and just as frustrating.

I do feel like a bit of a sap for wanting to play this game in spite of full knowledge of its (rather serious) flaws.  Sometimes gameplay decisions are different and not for everyone (such as Heavy Rain's approach), and sometimes they are just plain terrible.

Games don't normally produce such a conflicted response.  For me, the other major example is probably World of Warcraft.  Azeroth had plenty to keep me occupied during the two-years-or-so I spent there.  It has a fascinating lore and exploration.  It was a useful space for social interactions (yes really, it's a big place and you just have to find the friendlier and more mature elements).  There was a strong sense of teamwork and shared achievement.

But there was also plenty to hate.  The people too lazy to construct proper sentences.  The nagging feeling like being a lab rat offered food pellets.  Loot-obsession and learning just how much of a sense of entitlement some people have.  And ongoing commitments that could become like having a second job.

I think it's probably much cooler to act the critic and focus on the negative elements of a game.  Yahtzee certainly seems to do pretty well out of it.  My weakness is probably to go in the other direction, and make excuses for games in defence of the things I love about them.  I'd like to be able to talk about where gaming fascinates and inspires, far more than where it disappoints.

As I mentioned previously, I haven't played a Sims game in many years. Things have apparently increased in complexity since I played the original game. Sims 3 has spawned some interesting ideas, and I've been curious to see how different people describe their experiences with the game.


Alice and Kev is an experiment about homelessness in Sims 3, courtesy of games design student Robin Burkinshaw. The blog follows the lives of the angry and meanspirited Kev and his insecure daughter Alice.

From the introduction:

I created two Sims, moved them in to a place made to look like an abandoned park, removed all of their remaining money, and then attempted to help them survive without taking any of the game's unrealistically easy cash routes.

Homelessness can be a touchy subject, and the first thing I thought of when starting to write about this was Peter C. Hayward, who recently spent a month in Melbourne pretending to be homeless. I believe this was intended as a life experience, as well as raising money for StreetSmart Australia. There is at least some good in raising money for a worthy cause. But I, along with many others, considered it an inappropriate stunt.

Burkinshaw and Hayward are both exploring homelessness in a very artificial way. While Hayward has prompted a lot of venom on the Internet, the reactions I've seen to Alice and Kev have been far more positive. As someone interested in the potential of games to make people think about their lives, I am tempted to say that's because virtual spaces are a much safer and more appropriate for this kind of experiment. They cannnot truly represent the reality of homelessness, but I doubt anyone expects them to. That doesn't have to make the exploration entirely worthless. But, I am also aware I'm examining this through privileged eyes.

That people can genuinely feel for the plight of virtual people is fascinating to see. There are a range of charities linked from the blog, and I can hope that the project can translate into wanting to do some good in the real world.



The Sims, while a simplified model of reality, can make us think about real life in new ways – either by teaching genuine lessons, or by making us think about where the limitations of the simulation are, and how real life might differ. I've recently enjoyed some posts on freakrevolution.com which explore these ideas.

Everything I need to know I learned from tiny pretend people discusses several lessons that arose with a mother playing The Sims with her son. It demonstrates a simple but genuine intersection between virtual experiences and life. More recently, The Sims 3 is corrupting our children (and us) describes the simulation failing to live up to the author's view of what makes people happy. It's not nearly as negative as the title makes it sound! The important thing, I think, is that even when the message a game seems to be sending doesn't quite sit right, there may be value in being prompted to think about it.

I'm not very happy with game retailers and companies right now. It's unfortunate that being a gamer often comes with its share of technical problems, and poor customer service or support.

I was vaguely considering purchasing Assassin's Creed 2 once the price drops. I found the first game was almost very good... the open world felt very different and had a lot of potential. I liked being able to run freely across rooftops, and once I stopped wishing for a new-generation version of Thief, and just accepted it wasn't really about being stealthy, I had some fun with it. But, like many people, the repetitive missions spoilt the experience for me. I gather the second game at least made some effort to listen to the criticisms, though, so I have some hopes for it.

Although I wasn't looking at the PC version of Assassin's Creed 2, I don't feel right about the purchase while they are still utilising such problematic DRM, so I probably won't be playing this game. To me, that's a lack of respect for legitimate customers for no real benefit.

Mind you, I'm not sure other companies are doing much right, either.

I approve of companies providing incentives to buy their games legitimately, rather than including restrictive DRM. When I signed up to get my bonus DLC for Dragon Age: Origins (PC) I successfully navigated the poorly set out webpages, and eventually worked out how to install my bonus content. In the process I apparently gave them permission to start collecting data on me while I play, even when I have the usual online profile option turned off. So I get annoying errors in game whenever my net connection gets fussy, and whatever it is doing is rather good at making my router grumpy.

A bit of transparency would have been appreciated, EA.

Things have been even worse when it comes to Mass Effect 2. My "Cerberus network" DLC activation code was missing from the game box, though I've since been able to get a replacement code from the retailer. Unfortunately, my Mass Effect 2 registration has completely disappeared from my EA online account, and it won't recognise any codes from me. I'm still waiting on a response from customer support.

Somehow I'm doubting this extra content will be worth the trouble, if I do ever get to see it.

***

I have a confession to make... I went to an EB Games store yesterday. I don't shop there as a general rule, but in this case they were the only place to have the game I was looking for, and my impatience got the better of me. It was a slightly scary experience, actually. They had voice-overs advertising their wonderful deals... such as trading in a working white Wii console plus $200 to get a new black Wii console. I have to admire them in a freaked out sort of way.

At the counter I was told about their 7-day return policy, and that I could pay an extra $3 for a 12-month warranty. Now, I understand the logic of extended warranties on more expensive purchases, but the idea of one on a game is new to me. Again, I sort of have to admire their scary marketing strategies. It might actually work on some clueless parents buying games for their kids.

I wonder what that $3 actually gets you... Does it just cover faults, or can you replace discs scratched from general wear and tear? I wish I'd been listening more carefully and willing to ask questions. If it were a 12-month no-questions-asked return policy it might be very exploitable, but I doubt that's the case.

I looked on the EB website and couldn't find any information. Just some info on extended warranties for consoles, and their rather limited warranty on all games:

All games come with a 30 day in store warranty. This warranty however doesn't cover any wear and tear or damage to the discs. If the disc isn't working and still in perfect condition bring it back to your nearest EB Games store and we will swap it over for you.

I guess it's up to someone who is a better detective than me to actually work out whether this particular scam is true evil or just run-of-the-mill evil.

Also, the guy behind the counter laughed at my World of Warcraft t-shirt. I think being mocked by someone who works at EB games has to be a new kind of low :(

Edit:  EA support finally sorted out my issues.  It took a couple of days, but at least some such stories have happy endings.

Most of the time, I want games to challenge me. That can involve many different things. A lot of my favourites have heavy action and/or themes, and can have be tensed up and on the edge of my seat. I also enjoy more mentally challenging games, including puzzle-solving, or mastering complicated game mechanics or item management.

I find these things enjoyable, but I wouldn't call them relaxing. I wonder sometimes if a game can be truly relaxing. I have a very broad definition of what I will call a game, but I think some interactivity is required. And as soon as there is interactivity there will be consequences for actions, even if that's on an extremely basic level.

If I want a really soothing experience I'm probably not usually going to look to gaming. But, games can still calm me somewhat. I'm sure this is a very individual thing -- one person's relaxing is another person's slow and boring, after all.

My traditional "relaxation" game is actually Carmageddon 2. This is something like reading a trashy novel. I don't have to take anything very seriously, and just go with it. I just hoon around being a menace to pedestrians, and burn off some tension in the process.

In general, I think games with combat can be surprisingly calming, provided they are sufficiently forgiving or familiar. There is a point where you can get into the "zone" while fighting. There can be a fine line between that and grinding. These days I am wary of finding comfort in simple repetition, but I'm still guilty of it occasionally.

One game I've used for this purpose is PoPoLoCrois (PSP). This was an odd impulse buy for me, given my usual negative opinion of JRPGs. But I do have a weakness for fairytales, and was looking for something simple. It has very easy combat, so I didn't have to worry much about it. And (to me at least) it manages to be very cute without becoming cloying. The story was rather choppy, having been patched together from parts of older games. But overall it was a surprisingly charming experience. And charm can go a long way towards making a game experience relaxing, in my opinion.

Interestingly, I haven't found broad-appeal games without combat very calming. I haven't played The Sims or Sim City in many years, but I found the measured passing of time, combined with a lack of defined end points, had me very slightly on edge. I was always pushing, and trying to achieve something more.

Relatively recently, I have played more games that may actually have been designed with relaxation in mind. FlOw and Flower at least start out that way, with very floaty movement and atmosphere. But they'll sneak up on you, I find. In flOw the creatures become tougher and start fighting back, and even flower developed a darker feeling than I was expecting in places. They do remain suitable relaxation games.

This week I did acquire Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep (Wii). I gather they made an effort to make it a bit more focused and exciting than the previous game. But there is still a lot of simply swimming around looking at fish... at least if you are like me and interested enough to try and catalogue them. I'm sure to find enough entertainment there to justify the purchase.

I have probably not done my gaming credibility any favours today, but if there is one thing I look for in gaming it's diversity.

This Saturday at 8:30PM is Earth Hour, so my lights, consoles and computers will be staying off. It's a very small sacrifice. When it comes to the scale of anthropogenic climate change I think this must have a rather small direct effect in the scheme of things. But it is also a valuable symbol, and I consider that important. It's unfortunate that raising awareness remains such an important part of this issue.

The power use involved in gaming is something I think about fairly often. The number of consoles and gadgets I use has increased over time. Recently I've started turning non-essential things off at the wall when I'm not using them, but I still wonder about the impact of spending so much time on electronic entertainment.

There are far worse things I could be doing -- I don't own a car, and it's extremely unusual for me to utilise air travel. But that doesn't mean my own habits are not worth thinking about.

I've just created a Twitter account relevant to this blog (plus added an associated sidebar widget). I wasn't originally intending to, but a tweet probably works better than a full post if all I want to do is link something interesting, or record other short, simple thoughts.

More full-length posts are on the way. I don't plan to maintain last week's schedule of at least one post per weekday, but posts will still be quite regular.

I've been feeling very enthusiastic about gaming recently. I just started this blog, there are some exciting releases on the horizon, and I've been having some fun experiences.

Then Steam had Final Fantasy XI on sale for $US9.99, and in a moment of morbid curiosity I decided to give it a spin for the 30-day trial. If I wanted to sap away some of my gaming enthusiasm this was a really good way to go about it.

After several hours of patch downloads, and an unnecessarily convoluted sign up procedure, I finally managed to create a character and set foot in the game world of Vana'diel.

The first obvious thing about FFXI is that the keyboard setup is non-standard. It took several minutes to work out how to move around, interact, and access the menu to change the damn keyboard setup (it's under the '-' key, followed by an arrow sideways to access another menu). Not a very welcoming beginning.

Each starting city has an NPC for giving out very simple beginner quests, but they are located nowhere near the starting area. I spent several hours exploring the city before I found them. Finally, I ventured out of the city in search of low-level monsters to fight. We trade blows for a while, one of us comes out on top, and so it continues.

I've only pushed myself through to about Level 6, which is not enough to say anything informed about the game, but it is enough to start me wondering why I am putting myself through this experience. I know MMOs were still developing at this point, and WoW has since worked out how to be more accessible to beginners, and provide constant reward feedback to keep people playing. But I still thought there would be slightly more here. Perhaps there is, if I were prepared to put in the time to get there.

There is a vague sense of developing yourself as a hero and adventurer, but I had no real concept of why my character would bother (let alone why I would want to be part of their journey). Maybe someone passionate about Final Fantasy can explain it to me, but I just haven't been inspired by the game series in general. And the MMO-version is probably far worse, with less in the way of pretty cut-scenes or story to fall back on.

The world feels vast, which is one of the strong points of MMOs, but in the end all that really means is that things are spread out and it takes a very long time to run anywhere.

Maybe I'm more easily bored these days, but this has got me thinking about what can make me endure a grind in gaming. I certainly have ground enemies often enough. I enjoyed Borderlands despite it not providing a lot of variety, and sometimes things just work out that way.

In World of Warcraft I put up with the grind aspect partly to have a place among a community, which I admittedly haven't sought out in FFXI. But I think the major difference in WoW was I had enough of an investment at the time to research the ins-and-outs of what I was doing. I knew exactly where to gather resources, how the economy on my server worked and what items were valuable, and how best to utilise my class abilities. I gained some enjoyment from being an expert on what I was doing.

It takes a while to gain that sort of knowledge of any particular MMO, and I won't be going through the learning curve in this case. I think it's unlikely I will ever go through that sort of experience again, in fact -- a new MMO would have to be something pretty special to tempt me back into that kind of gaming.

Other games that can make me grind are those where I am given something to collect. I'll happily search for rubber bands and garden gnomes in Bully, collect shiny bugs in Twilight Princess (though I stopped short of hunting down all the Poe Souls) or try to fully level up Folks in Folklore. Maybe I'm just a bit ODC in this context.

I will occasionally load up Final Fantasy XII, not because I find the story, characters, or gameplay particularly inspiring, but because I like filling out my bestiary with information about the creatures I encounter. I basically pretend I'm a travelling naturalist (if a rather violent one) rather than a hero or adventurer. I expect this is is a rather unusual way to play the game, but it's more in line with my personal interests. If any game ever has David Attenborough narrating I'll be all for it.

FFXI doesn't have a bestiary (as far as I know), so I'm yet to find a silver lining. About the one positive thing I can say is that you lose XP for dying -- I really wish more RPGs had harsher penalties for death.

Just some quick links today.

The guys from Game Taco Podcast were kind enough to give me a link on their blogroll. After two episodes I think they are really starting to click, and they have conducted some interesting interviews. I look forward to hearing their future discussions.

Coelacanth: Lessons from Doom is an interesting look at game design with less representational graphics, and how it may actually serve gameplay.

For any current World of Warcraft players, the Daedalus project is looking for survey participants. They are "trying to find out what our behaviors in WoW reveal about who we are in RL."

I don't play a lot of flash games, but I have been enjoying Closure. I am fascinated by games that play with the idea of perception tangibly altering reality. Another example of a game using those sorts of ideas is Echochrome.

In the non-fiction comic book Understanding Comics, Scott McCloud talks about how a simply-drawn cartoon character may actually increase our emotional investment versus a more photorealistic character. The theory goes that an iconic representation is a partially blank slate, and we can more easily project ourselves onto them. Tintin is an example of a comic where you will find panels including both detailed background art, and a much simpler, more cartoony character, thus drawing us into the scene.

By this logic, in third-person gaming a cartoony avatar (say, a World of Warcraft character) may be easier to identify with than an avatar rendered in more detail (such as a Heavy Rain character).

It's an interesting idea. As graphics improve, and both characters and environments become more convincing, the possibilities for immersive experiences are also commonly thought to be greater. But I don't think that tells the whole story when it comes to the role of graphics in immersion.

Gaming includes scope for many different kinds of immersion, and a range of ways to define the term. I do think immersion is thrown about a lot as a concept, and is often poorly defined. See the following article for a more scientific look at defining immersion: Jennett et al. (2008) Measuring and defining the experience of immersion in games. International Journal of Human-Computer Studies 66: 641-661.

For me personally there has always been at least some personal investment in a game. Even back when I was a kid controlling a couple of pixels on a screen I remember being torn about the experience. Part of me dearly wanted to keep playing; another part was terrified of dying. I understood the "death" of my pixelated spaceship had no real world consequences, but it still affected me enough that I could even be very reluctant to play when given the opportunity. I think I've always found projecting myself into a game space a very natural and unconscious thing to do. That projection is what I call immersion.

A high level of emotional investment and involvement has been described both as a holy grail of game design, and as a cause of hyperreality and problem gaming (see here for a quick example, though it's not an article I agree with).

There is also the potential for raised anxiety, which I have certainly experienced often enough. I find it very interesting that looking for games (and movies, television or other media) with genuine emotional impact means exposing yourself to feelings often considered negative. And yet, it remains entertainment. I actually find this a very positive thing, and think we can learn a lot from experiences in fictional spaces.

I had some friends visiting the other evening who were interested in checking out Heavy Rain. I found it a slightly bizarre situation, with one person playing and another three watching. It's really not the usual way to play it. It was very easy to laugh at mistakes and diffuse the seriousness considerably. At the same time, I think they were surprised at how much tension the game managed to include, even while we were joking around.

I was a bit surprised, I admit. As someone who is rather easily drawn into game stories and emotions I have trouble gauging when something hits the level where it might actually work on other people, too. Judging by the comments I've seen online, Heavy Rain comes close enough to affect a fair number of people, but that still leaves a significant number of people who will find it clumsy and lacking in true maturity and immersion.

I'm glad I am not the only person who found Heavy Rain enjoyable. I've had a few people now remark on the fact that it actually succeeds in making QTEs enjoyable. It's certainly very different to most other games currently available, and that is bound to make it polarising.

A recent conversation with a friend about Mass Effect 2...

Me: I wish Joker were a romance option.
R: You'd break him.
Me: You can have romance without sex, you know.
R: Yes, but that would be mature. And it's only an M-rated game.

That should really be MA15+ rather than M, but I decided not to misquote. Despite my issues with the maturity debate I was amused.

Joker has become one of my favourite game characters. I am coming from an able-bodied perspective, but to me he seems a great example of including disability in gaming. He doesn't feel token, and his problems seem to be just an element of the character rather than his reason for existing. He is a highly skilled pilot and valued crew member. Plus, he is voiced by Seth Green. I suspect that's been acting on me subconsciously for a while.

It is unfortunate I can't think of another good example. About the only other physically disabled character I can recall encountering recently is Oracle in Arkham Asylum... and she was just a voice on the radio.

I'm feeling quite mixed about Katawa Shoujo as a concept. Fetishising disability is a bit creepy, but at the same time I approve of the message that you can still be attractive (and sexy) with those disabilities. I'm inclined to say there are so few examples of this sort of thing -- in general, and particularly in gaming -- that it may well have value, even if they don't do everything exactly right. But I don't expect everyone to agree.

How a concept is treated is important, not just that it is included at all. In my hypothetical Joker example I'm not sure if I could really trust the writers to deal well with a developing romance and the potential issues with physical intimacy. So maybe it's for the best they are not taking requests from me. Even the romances that are actually included can feel pretty clumsy. It may also be more serious a topic than most Mass Effect players want to encounter. But I can't really say for sure.

It must be time for a post about Borderlands.

I don't usually play first-person shooters. But after all the raving on Screen Play I decided to give Borderlands a go. Besides, add some character classes, levels and a talent tree and I'm much more in my comfort zone.

I have the PS3 version, for one simple reason: split-screen co-op. Yelling between rooms just isn't the same as settling down with my partner on the couch. What this actually involved, of course, was a romantic evening of him getting shot and me running around saving his arse. Plus glaring at him whenever he started to pick up a hick accent.

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but snipers do seem to die a bit.

I was surprised at how much fun Borderlands was, and that inclines me to overlook some problems. I experienced a recurring graphical bug where the sky would start flashing bright pink and orange. Often just on my side of the screen, so I'm sure the game hates me. So, I guess that was my trade-off for wanting the split-screen experience instead of the more standard online multiplayer. Inventory management and comparing weapons was very messy. But I loved the cel-shaded graphics, and I enjoyed setting people on fire or coating them in acid possibly a little too much.

The TV series Firefly has probably made me more receptive to futuristic/space western as a genre, and I liked to pretend sometimes I was on a rim world in that universe. No real connection, but I don't have a lot of other experiences that easily compare. Borderlands keeps things very simple story-wise, but I think they did a good job of the general feel of the place.

I'm actually very glad there was such a focus on the co-op elements in this game, because it meant the lacklustre ending didn't bother me quite as much. I was focusing less on the story and more on just having a fun time with the gameplay. But it was still very disappointing.

Next on my list of games Screenies talked about so much I feel I should play them: the original Bioshock.

A few years ago I had a dilemma. After years of embracing a gaming and roleplaying lifestyle I knew I needed to start seriously considering how to incorporate more exercise into my life. I wanted to improve my lifestyle, but my social anxiety was making it difficult. I wasn't comfortable with jogging in public, and failed to make myself join any sort of class. I've never been to a gym, and the mere thought of it terrified me. Still does, for that matter. It's an unpleasant loop -- the anxiety makes it hard to exercise, but the lack of exercise can make the anxiety worse.

I spend a lot of time working on overcoming my fears, and I do have some success. But in this case it didn't seem worth trusting my physical health to what can be a drawn out and haphazard process. I needed to find exercise I could achieve at home by myself. I considered whether to buy an exercise bike or other equipment, but was concerned about the space it would take up in my apartment. Then I walked past a billboard advertising Wii Fit, and had my solution.

I know using Wii Fit (and now Wii Fit Plus) can be a daggy thing to admit, both around people interested in fitness, and gamers. Particularly considering exercises like Wii-jogging, which for most people probably seems a bit pointless when they could just do regular jogging. But for someone like me it is the only jogging I've done in my life, and that increases its value significantly.

I've spent a fair bit of time standing up for Wii Fit for helping me with a problematic situation. I also have friends far fitter than I am, who can still get a respectable work-out out of the programme. That makes me feel a bit better. Like a lot of exercise equipment, the most likely issue is motivating yourself to use it, rather than the product itself being useless.

Not that Wii Fit doesn't have its problems. The virtual trainers say annoying, repetitive things you can't turn off, and some of the exercises are more gimmicky than useful. I really wish it would stop obsessing about weight. This has always been about health for me, not weight. I'm currently training for Oxfam Trailwalker in April, so I've been gaining a bit of muscle recently. That commitment has forced me to step outside my lounge room and go on long walks with my team, though Wii Fit does still play a role in training.

The main issue with writing about Wii Fit here, aside from mild embarrassment, is that I don't actually consider it to be a game. It is really more chore than enjoyment, for me personally. My Wii was purchased more as an exercise tool than a game console, and that remains its primary function. Thankfully, I have still had some fun gaming experiences on Wii, which are bound to come up in future posts.

Last weekend there were crazy storms in Melbourne. There was flash flooding, and large hailstones fell in several areas.

This was also the weekend I chose to pick up a copy of Heavy Rain. Almost as soon as I got home the skies opened. Since I was lucky enough not to have any roof leaks or power outages, it was possibly the perfect time to curl up on the couch and give it a go.

Heavy Rain has it flaws, but I seem to be turning into some sort of pathetic David Cage fangirl, and I loved it anyway. I don't recommend it to anyone with triggers, mind.

I don't want to talk too much about the game itself, because I don't want to spoil the experience. Since most of game stores in Melbourne's CBD sold out on release day (unless you know where to look) there are plenty of people who haven't had the opportunity yet.

I do want to talk about the experience a little though, mostly that it managed to alter a lot of my gaming habits. I selected the hardest difficulty setting, which I've never done with any game before. It still seemed easier than Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy) on Easy, but that may have something to do with the fact that I played most of Fahrenheit with a broken controller...

I finished Heavy Rain within about a day, and I just don't do that. For all that I really enjoy gaming I find that extended sessions just make me feel lethargic, and there are too many other things to do. That probably sounds really odd coming from a former obsessive World of Warcraft player, but there you go. And with story-driven experiences I usually like to take some time out to digest (and possibly discuss) things. But I made an exception in this case.

I also intend to replay it, something else have never done before.

What is probably more interesting, is that I changed my actual gaming style. Normally I'm the obsessive type, having to carefully check every corner in case there is something interesting there. In this case I really let myself be driven, and started acting more like a character probably should. I let there be a feeling of urgency.

I suspect this kind of experience works better if you are prepared to let it in. Somehow I was able to overlook the problems which could easily limit suspension of disbelief, and just go with the flow. That's pretty nice when it works. Of course, I'm a very easy person to affect emotionally, so when a game actually tries for that I'm probably going to appreciate it.

P.S. I make a pretty terrible father.

Recently, I had a nice, relaxing evening to myself. I caught up on The Guild, played some Dragon Age, and generally bummed around. Sometimes that's all I really need.

I'm not very good at motivating myself to cook for one, so I wandered down the street to get a veggie burger for dinner. All well and good, until someone decided to pester me on the way home. It's quite common for people to stop and ask for directions from their cars. I get flustered because I'm not great at directions, but I usually do my best. I really did not need an incident to put me further off the experience.

I don't think this guy even really needed directions, because he got annoyed when I walked off after giving said directions, beeped his horn and did a U-turn in a busy street, just so he could pull into a driveway in front of me and ask if I wanted to go for a drink. He was pretty aggravated at the "no thanks" and beeped his horn some more, complaining that there was nothing wrong with "liking someone".

It was still early in the evening and there were plenty of people around, so I didn't feel particularly unsafe. Although, if he'd kept following me I'd have been worried about him finding out where I lived. But it is still not nice to be someone who often feels like they are being watched walking down the street, and then sort of have it confirmed. It's the sort of thing that can get inside my head and mess with me.

What does all this have to do with gaming? Well, arguably not much. But, as I mentioned I had just been playing Dragon Age. Specifically, I had been experiencing some of the romance options. Mostly the romance with Alistair, who I surprised myself by falling for both in and out of character. Zevran will jump into bed if you so much as look sideways at him, but he is less my type.

The sex scenes in Dragon Age are really quite painful. We have sudden slow music, odd-looking underwear, and characters making silly expressions at each other with their plastic faces. Sometimes a fade-to-black may do just as well, Bioware.

And yet, I did laugh a little as I kept walking down the street. I was returning to my computer-generated lovers, and thinking that even someone who doesn't exist and has no physical form is far more sexually satisfying than someone whose idea of romance involves harassing random women in the street :)

I love character creation. I can happily fiddle with sliders for hours trying to create something I'm happy with (and get a sense of their personality while I'm at it). Dragon Age is a good place to look for customisation, though I gather some other games have recently done an even better job.

We have the usual starting point: male or female? I've recently been spoilt by Demon's Souls which has a slider bar for gender, allowing you to be androgynous or anywhere you like along a spectrum. I thought that was pretty awesome, and I sighed a little at returning to the binary choice here. It was expected, though.

Choosing a female character, I was told that women and men are considered by most people to be of equal skill. Since then, my character has been subjected to a lot of talk about how pretty she is but that she's proving difficult to marry off. Every second character I've spoken to has commented on the fact that I'm female, and that it's highly unusual for women to join the Fellowship Spectres Grey Wardens. I've also had a lot of dialogue options say things like "Oh stop whining! I'm braver than you and I'm [just] a woman!".

I don't actually mind if a fictional world is presented as equal opportunity or not, because I think they can be a useful space for exploring issues. A strong female character in a society that doesn't always recognise it isn't automatically a terrible story. But you can't really have it both ways. I think this may be the result of them trying a bit too hard to prove they have catered dialogue to different kinds of characters.

Moving along, and we come to deciding between being a human, dwarf or elf. Sadly, the elves and dwarves really just look like differently-proportioned humans, and I much prefer my different races to look, well, different. When the elves in game have a hairstyle that covers their ears I often can't actually tell them apart from the humans. This is a large part of why I really like games that let me play more unusual races like orcs or lizardmen. It actually forces the designers to create something.

The male dwarves don't look too bad, and I think beards might help slightly to hide how plastic and expressionless these characters can be in the cut-scenes (Mass Effect wins slightly here over Dragon Age for at least allowing your character to speak). But my partner is going with the dwarf option, so I decided to stick with human.

Dragon Age made a big deal out of its character backgrounds, and getting to play through a short origin section. As a human rogue my only option was, of course, to come from a noble family (um... sure). I chose to ignore this when I was customising my character's appearance, and created the rangery character I actually wanted to play. She has relatively dark skin and hair, with facial henna tattoos and almost tribal-looking hair. I was then plonked into my mediaeval castle with my very pale English-looking parents discussing arranged marriages and such. I imagined I must be the product of an affair, which everyone pretends to ignore despite her different heritage being plainly visible. I don't think adoption is much of an option when everyone is going on about the age and importance of our family line.

So, I got some amusement out of all of that, but it really was not ideal. There will, I'm sure, be plenty of good points to this game now that I can settle into it properly and stop laughing at the ridiculousness of my starting point.

The gameplay leaves a bit to be desired, but that isn't always Bioware's strong point. The camera angles and cooldown management were done better in WoW, while the full-party management was better back in the Baldur's Gate days, or in Final Fantasy XII where the AI settings (gambits/tactics) were more intuitive and sophisticated. Dragon Age feels like it has tried to lump all of these games together, with mixed success. I can at least see the potential in what they tried to do, but I hope they work on it more for future games.

The story is incredibly generic so far, but that's what I knowingly signed up for, and most other games lack worlds and character interactions as complex and interesting, sadly (Demon's Souls, for example, has fantastic gameplay, but it doesn't even try to include a story worth a damn). I dream of Bioware one day making something that isn't playing things quite so safe, but in the meantime I guess I'll be busy trying to build an army for an epic battle against Sauron the Darkspawn.

I've been pondering some ideas about mature entertainment. In particular, about people who will argue that something simple containing a lot of sex and/or violence is far more childish than a deeper story that is suitable for all-ages. The word "vacuous" gets used a lot to similar effect, as people glorify their own more-refined tastes.

This feels a bit inadequate to me. I see the distinction, but the value judgement included in the classification bothers me. There are a lot of multi-layered or otherwise complicated creations that I have very much enjoyed. At the same time, there is a lot to be gained from simplicity. I also find a lot of interest in things that appear simple, but looked at from another angle really are not. It's amazing how often people fail to look for that other angle.

Linking all comics to children's picture books, or all animated stories to kids' cartoons, is a pretty clear mistake as soon as you start to investigate those media. But the people bagging out Southpark or MadWorld as childish or vacuous probably aren't going to have their opinions challenged any time soon. And I wonder why it is that entertainment should have to be a deep experience, and why some forms of entertainment are considered more acceptable than others. Surely the nature of something as entertainment in the first place makes it arguably vacuous? That doesn't make it a pointless or meaningless experience, though.

Take, for example, a pornographic movie. It has only the most basic of story, and exists only to satisfy a simple desire or fantasy. Yet people are likely to enjoy it for tapping into those basic desires. At the same time, people are often ashamed of those feelings and try to hide them. The genre as a whole becomes something to be ashamed of, and perhaps dismissed as something only enjoyed by teenagers and lonely old men.

When it comes down to it, people are programmed with fairly basic needs and desires. I think a lot of people like to pretend that isn't the case, and place themselves above more basic instincts. Personally, I've a bit of a habit of switching the value system around, placing primal urges above more affected behaviour. At the very least I'd like people to be less ashamed and stop trying to pretend those elements don't exist within them.

While sex is a natural part of human experience, violence should not be. Its value as part of entertainment can be harder to justify (in reality the opposite seems to happen a lot of the time, which is weird but could also expand into a whole new discussion so I'll ignore that for now).

MadWorld is all about killing other people in violent and gruesome ways. I happen to enjoy it, at least in small doses so it doesn't have the chance to become too samey. I do agree with Rebecca Mayes that it's trying way too hard. Maybe I'm try-hard enough myself to appreciate it anyway. But I would like to be able to justify my enjoyment on some level.

I suppose the first thing to do is point out that virtual ultraviolence is in no way going to inform my real life behaviour. But a lack of negative impact is not the same as demonstrating the value in something.

In the real world, if I grabbed a street sign and impaled someone the likely response would be something like throwing up. But in this stylised world it can even become funny. Ditto TV shows like Happy Tree Friends. These are very stylised examples, which are easily separated from reality. The best non-animated comparisons are probably some kind of slapstick humour. Except that with animation you can pump up the violence level without the associated consequences. There is also a long tradition of cartoon violence aimed at a younger audience. I suspect we are conditioned quite early to accept some animated violence as okay. Though at the same time, I don't normally talk about how I enjoy the humour in Metalocalypse because I don't want to offend anyone. This type of humour relies on a good disconnection from reality.

Once violence becomes more realistic it usually becomes part of more involved stories, which are less likely to be labeled childish. This is where the value is perhaps more recognised, in order to tell a high-impact, serious story. For example, the shocking violence in American History X.

As for the "childish" violence, I think that the value comes from the safety of exploration. It's a rather freeing way to look at violence, where no matter how extreme the images are, none of them can actually hurt anyone. When it's humorous I don't really understand where the humour comes from, only that it exists and isn't dangerous. I suppose it's some sort of absurdist humour.

This could all come down to a discussion of the value of art, and a debate on the merits of different expressions of mature themes. But entertainment is a personal thing. To me, provided you are living your life in a way that doesn't harm others, the most important thing is finding whatever entertainment works for you.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and I'm happy to hear discussion and debate. But there is no reason to belittle people for valuing different experiences. I suspect the "childish" crowd are often just using that term to label something they don't personally enjoy.

The thing about a new console is the sudden exposure to a bunch of new games (often just new to me, but never mind). So, I've been working on speed-reviews, for the fun of it.

In alphabetical order...

Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice (PS3 exclusive)

This is more my partner's interest than mine. I understand Disgaea games are valued for their stories, humour and playing with stereotypes (and the fact that the level cap is 9999). It's not my sort of humour, the stories don't interest me much, and the gameplay is unashamedly repetitive. That said, I am enjoying this more than previous Disgaea games, and turn-based can be good when my brain is tired. Also, there are War Slugs, so that wins points.

Eternal Sonata (also available on XBox 360)


I was attracted to this game purely on concept. The story takes place in a dream sequence that Chopin has on his death bed. It also includes interludes about Chopin's life, the first of which was about his relationship with George Sand, who seems a very interesting woman. Eternal Sonata is a very pretty game, in an anime, non-realistic way. And the music is of course very beautiful. The people and places are all named after musical terms. Beyond that it's probably a fairly standard JRPG, but I'm enjoying it despite the fact that they usually drive me a bit mad (mostly due to linearity and annoying repetitive special attacks).

flOw (Also available on PSP, or as a Flash game here, at least for a couple of creatures)


flOw is a simple game, but it works. I think it's probably much easier to control in the flash version than using SIXAXIS, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun. You are an aquatic micro-organism, and your goal is simply to eat, grow and evolve. It can be quite relaxing to float around "om nom nom"ing away. Though some of the creatures you encounter also include some challenge - things that run away quickly, or fight back etc. It's the sort of game you can either play aggressively and try to reach your goal, or just sit back and enjoy a sort of interactive screen saver. There is no actual death of your organism possible and trickier things can usually be skipped.

Flower (PS3 download exclusive)


I'm a little bit in love with this game, though there is a bit of debate about whether it is actually a game, or perhaps more of a technical demonstration. It probably has to be experienced - screen shots and descriptions don't do it proper justice. Flower is something of a successor to flOw, though you are now a breath of wind in a 3D landscape. Your aim is to pick up flower petals, and you will gradually build up a long trail of them. I think of it a bit like being a nature spirit tasked with making flowers open, though I doubt that was the intention. There is a potential for using this as a relaxation game, and happily whooshing about the landscape. It also takes some interesting turns, but I don't want to spoil it.

Folklore (PS3 exclusive)


This is probably the PS3 game I was most enthusiastic to track down, and was glad I did. In order to solve the mysteries in a small, Irish town it is necessary to travel to the netherworld and recover the memories of the dead. Different realms are based on concepts of the afterlife: the pleasurable faerie realm; a war zone created by modern people who experienced a violent death; the Endless Corridor representing the concept that nothing exists after death; and so on. Combat occurs by capturing, training, and controlling "Folks" (the creatures of these realms). It takes a bit of getting used to, but it works (arguably training folks gets a bit tedious, though I personally enjoy this sort of thing). Using SIXAXIS to suck the souls out of creatures is fun and appropriate, if sometimes hard work.

LittleBigPlanet (PS3 exclusive)


Cute, fun and has a great soundtrack. Things are made even cooler by Stephen Fry's narration. I also appreciate games with good co-op mode. LittleBigPlanet is also surprisingly challenging in places - cute does not equal easy. I found the level creator a bit cumbersome, but the scope of potential creations is huge. You could have a lot of fun with this as an engineering-geek.

Motorstorm: Pacific Rift (PS3 exclusive)


I don't play racing games often, and probably never would have gone near this if I didn't get it for free. But, occasionally I do enjoy racing around and I guess this is my current-generation replacement for Powerslide. I like my racing games to be fairly unrealistic, and this fits by allowing me to tear through jungles, fall into lava and so on. It has a fun range of vehicles, from big trucks through to motorbikes. And each track has multiple pathways, with the best option varying for the different vehicles. I can't comment on how it compares to any other current racing game, but it's a bit of fun.

Noby Noby Boy (PS3 download exclusive)


It's a $AU7 download, so I would have had to really hate this to feel ripped off. It is extremely strange though. Even stranger than I expected. There is no real goal - just stretch and eat things. It's kind of cute, but again in a very strange way. I'm not sure what more I can say really. I do appreciate the idea of playing around with less goal-orientated games though. It is probably another thing that is better to just play instead of trying to explain it.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (PS3 exclusive)


I am actually a terrible person to review this. Every now and then I get the urge to buy a game with a lot of shooting or other action in it, even though I know my skills in this area are probably not going to be up to the task. That said, so far I'm getting by. After fighting with camera-angles in Tomb Raider that tempt you to risk leaps-of-death this is a rather nice change. And the scenery is pretty. I would probably prefer something with more puzzles and less action, though.

Valkyria Chronicles (PS3 exclusive)


Mixing genres sometimes results in a horrible mess, but I think this successfully pulls off a combination of RPG, RTS and FPS. All of the potential troops have personality. This necessarily means some of them are annoying, but I'll still take that over commanding a bunch of anonymous mooks. The strategy is interesting and the challenge level is good. The setting feels a bit ridiculous (JRPG issues surfacing again), but once you overlook that and run with it it's well worth it.

Recently I went to a birthday party for my former Word of Warcraft guild leader. The party was interesting. I'd met him in person before, but not often. I felt old to be attending an 18th, but not to worry. There were a great many WoW-related presents, as you might expect. Singing Happy Birthday was also appended with "For the Horde!". I feel this improves it greatly. Gaming takes you to some unexpected places sometimes.

My name "Cha" was originally taken from my Warcraft character Cha'kwaina (Tauren Shaman). Meeting someone's mother who also wanted to call me Cha was unexpected, but appreciated. I never really considered the community I might encounter when I started gaming online, and in the end I found a kind of family. I moved away from WoW, but won't forget the connections I made.

On the way to the party we picked up a copy of MadWorld. The guy behind the counter asked if it was for me or my partner, and when I said both of us he seemed to consider finding a "girl who likes to kill" a good deal. I decided to take this as a compliment, despite being rather archaic. I forget that my habits are not completely normal until someone points it out to me.

I've been getting back into playing old adventure games recently. I suppose I've played quite a lot of them over the years. It used to be one of the few genres I had a chance of finishing (along with RPGs). Thankfully, my reflexes have improved and this is no longer the case.

It is no real surprise that Day of the Tentacle is worth the time. It is also no real surprise that a lot of the other adventure games I have sitting around are rather ordinary -- Mystery of the Druids is fast becoming my least favourite game of all time.

What is a surprise is the experience I'm having with Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail. This was meant to give me something to giggle at when the weather was unpleasant and my brain had regressed significantly. Plus I've never played a Larry game and, well, it was there. But I'm actually surprisingly impressed by it.

It is of course trash. It's full of bad jokes and unrelenting sexual innuendo. And it is in no way politically correct (though at the risk of getting hit with the feminist stick I actually appreciate this). But beyond all that I'm amazed at the number of things it does right as an adventure game. Often simple things that are terrible in the vast majority of adventure games I pick up.

1. You are given a large area to explore straight away. This means not being put in a situation with two rooms and four items to bash your head against until something interesting happens.

2. You can move instantly from any one part of the ship to another.

3. The individual areas are small enough that it doesn't take a year to walk from one side to the other.

4. Typing in verbs is utilised in a way that isn't just annoying and frustrating. I honestly didn't think it was possible to make that mechanic fun. Though it does have the unfortunate side-effect of making me try to lick every object I come across.

5. I find "Where's Dildo" a fun optional addition. That would be a matter of personal taste of course, but it is optional.

6. There is a lot to look at/talk about that isn't critically important. This adds interest and takes away some of the constant pressure of problem-solving.

7. Sometimes, Larry will overcome a simple problem for himself without you having to spell out every tiny little thing for him.

(From April 2008)

I wasn't at my best on Saturday morning. But I did not let it interrupt plans to see the Game On exhibition at Fed Square. I wasn't sure I'd be up for doing much. But they had so much fun stuff...

I got to play Space Invaders and laugh at kids who don't know how to play Pacman (admittedly I'm pretty terrible at it myself). And they had Powerslide set up in the Australian section, which well and truly made my day, and I got to race around my favourite track a few times. I still haven't managed to get it working under XP, but I aim to keep trying, damn it. They had the Hitchhiker's Guide text adventure, which was just about the last thing I expected to see and it was highly amusing to think of all the people who don't know how tricky it is getting bulldozed before they even made it out of the house. And Nicolai seemed happy for the chance to play Bubble Bobble with me, being his favourite game I think he said.

The Japanese section was sort of interesting for me. Snuck by the people playing DDR to read about Japanese dating games. Which wasn't a new story exactly, but got me thinking about culture and where games fit in.

I was also pretty happy that they had "Kids' Games" as a section, implying (to me) that computer games in general are not just for kids. The average age of a gamer in Australia is 28 years, so the advertising for that exhibition told me. Possibly reflecting this, the kids were not nearly as obnoxious and annoying as I feared they might be. I think a lot of them were absorbed in newer, flashier things (which I can play any time, so I'm less interested).

I think there were some gaping holes when it came to significant PC games (Myst, anyone?) but I suppose console bias should not surprise me. I was sad that I couldn't find earlier versions of Sonic, because that would have been nice nostalgia. And I have a bit of fear about playing Mario -- not too seriously, but I did joke about being too scared to play it. Mario on the Super Nintendo was one of the first games I ever attempted, and my co-ordination at that point was so terrible I died on the first Goomba three times in a row. Eventually I learnt to wait until it was right next to me and then press jump. Then I died on the second enemy, probably. My recent experiences with Super Mario Galaxy have been making me feel a lot better about myself.

We have the best dates ever :)

I was recently thinking about Phantasmagoria: a puzzle of flesh. Which I played in High School, so it's stretching the memory a bit. It isn't a game I'd ever recommend, by the way, but there were some aspects of it I found interesting. It is a far more mental story than the first Phantasmagoria game. And it was brave enough to explore abuse, mental illness and its treatment, bisexuality, and S&M. I had some admiration for a game attempting so many difficult themes, though ultimately it really disappoints.

If you don't want spoilers for a old, not terribly good adventure game then stop reading now.

At the time, I didn't understand the ending. After exploring a relatively serious real-world setting, we suddenly find ourselves in a brightly-coloured, alien landscape. I assumed this was part of the main character's hallucinations, which had been getting worse throughout the game. But it was still very jarring.

Having read some online interviews, I now know that this was supposed to be because the protagonist actually was an alien, and that was why he had such difficulty fitting in on earth. He was attracted to both male and female because, as an alien, he was neither. I was sickened when I found this out. To include themes like sexuality and mental illness, and then to explain these differences as being something other than human? Very insulting and saddening.

I wouldn't normally be this blatant... but seriously, fuck that for a plotline.

By coincidence, when I was thinking about this, a friend linked this real-world story of someone's experience in a mental institution. This reminded me that their are much worse, real-world things to get enraged about.

The authour of a Puzzle of Flesh was right about one thing. Madness is still one of our greatest fears. And people can be truly horrible when faced with things they are afraid of.

I go by the name Cha, and I'm a Research Assistant from Melbourne, Australia, who also happens to be passionate about computer games.

I enjoy writing about gaming. In the past I have submitted occasional articles to The Age "Screen Play" blog, most notably my article on gaming online with social anxiety, which won their Your Turn contest for January 2009. My other contributions have been a review of Baroque (Wii), and my thoughts on walkthrough writing.

I would like to write more about gaming. What I am most interested in is the place gaming has in my own life, and the personal stories I have to share. Since I doubt Fairfax wants to be swamped with a lot of personal stories about my life, I created this blog instead.

The first few posts will be edited versions of things I wrote elsewhere over the last couple of years, so if they seem a little out-of-date, that's why. That said, I'm not always interested in keeping up with the latest things -- there are some classics I still intend to experience, and if I end up having thoughts to share about them I won't let their age stop me.